the secret to a successful relationship!!

who knows what truly is the secret to a healthy relationship?? are there some rules? some comman principles? some law that states how things will work out? are they applicable to all??
maybe not!!!!!!!!!!!
having so many questions in my mind.. i sat back and started thinking about my relationship... and honestly.. i had some wonderful insights.. and they simply had to be wriiten down!!

i guess for every couple its different, every couple have their ' own rules , and formulas'.. each man to himself!
the major success factor here is to find out.. which one is the actual formula for you??
some may have troubles in communicating , some may lack physical intimacy, some may have problems in understanding ecah other at times, difficulty in hearing out each other. some may face boredom and monotony! there are like so many different issues!
we all feel that the other couple is always more happy than us... they are better... more mature... etc.. no ways!!!!!!! each couple at their own levels are faced with thier own set of problems! even people who have been married for 30 years to have arguements.. does that mean they are immamture? or not in love? no they are in love.. its just that maybe they havent been able to identify what the problem area is in their case...

all of us as couples have 1 major area that we need to work on together as a couple! remember the most important thing being is doing it together!
and step 1 - is to identify the problem area.... and accepting that your problem is your own.. and not like anyone elses!
no matter who the people are, how long they have been together.. how deeply in love they are... there are no couples that have had it the easy way!!
some have had to fight and disagree more than others maybe... but i feel that these couples always emerge out as the winners and stronger.. a longer and lasting bond develops between the which binds them forever!

there are no set rules that can be applied to the problems which give us the solution! it is not like mathematics.. where you can aaply formulas and rules... and solve the problem in some particular manner! no it is definatelynot like that!!!! it is more like literature and poetry.. everytime you read it.. you gain a new meaning, everytime anyone reads.. you find a different logic to it. every person has a different perspective and a different approach towards it!
now comes step 2- that is communicating it your better half!
in most cases it can happen.. that both the partners realsie the problem area.. however it can also be possible that only 1 realises it... and hebce it is necessary that we communicate it to our partner.. so that we can work on it as a team! however... many a times it does happen.. that although your partner does see the probelm area.. they may not feel that it is that big an issue that you feel it is! they might feel it is something smaller... does this mean that your thinking doesnot match? does it mean the partner is immature??? no!
a big no! it simply means that the partner understands the issue.. but feels that it doenst need anyheavy work on it! but you feel it! isnt that imp? isnt it imp what you feel? doesnt it matter to them????? oh yes it does matter to them! but it needs to be handled in a more tactful and non- chaotic way!
thats the step 3- how to actaully get down to business!
you know that your partber is aware of the problem but isnt too concerned about it.. because they feel that it might not ne that big an issue! 2 ways in which it can be workrd upon ( again as i said earlier.. its entirely your choice how you decide your solutions!)
1. try communicating to your partber what you feel.. without getting irritated or worried or hyper about it... try and explain the area you would like to work upon!
2. or you can simply do it yourself.. afetr communictaing it to your partner! although it is needed that both of you have to work on it.. it maybe possible that the probelm maybe bigger from your side! ( this maybe unknowingly also.. no person would purposely create a probelm in their relationship)
once you work on this issue.. it maybe possible that once the problem is slightly smaller in size.. it will be easier to make it vanish!

the important lesson is to be able to identify without being nagging.. and cranky about it.... identify it... communicate it.. solve it as much as you can and move on!!!!!!!!
try and not to focus too much on the negative part! the moe you focus on that.. the more it gets recreated.. look at the brighter aspects! feel the love.... remember the laughter, the good times... and above everything be ready to forgive! bot only your partner... but mst importantly yourself!!
if you cannot forgive yourself.. nothing can go right... forgiving yourself... helps to smoothen out the road automatically..
someone has rightly said ," love means never having to say sorry to each other." and even if you do.. forgive!!!
this is what i feel is the success to a realtionship... to all the readers.. i am sure you have your own!!!! i am sure we all are smart enough to figure it out ourselves.... and most importantly... shower your love on your better half!!!!!!!!! that is definately the strongest key to success~!!!!!!!