words of silence

there comes a situation in every persons life, where no words said can help in feeling better. every word spoken stings like a bed of thorns, it hurts and the wounded heart and mind bleeds more.
it is at this time that a hug, or a gesture of holding the hands of a dear one is the apt ans.. the comfort and warmth recieved by such actions is worth much more than those thousands and milllions of words spoken. we just need someone to be there. that person mite not give the right advise or words of wisdom, but just the thought that someone is there is more than comforting.

then again we all have been trained from childhood against the demonstration of emotions.
it really surprises me how ppl are able to live their lifes like stone cold rocks. everyone is hurt at some point or the other , it is just not possible that someone isnt hurt at all. then why the fear of saying how u feel? smartness isnt in hiding how u feel, it is in showing that yes you are aware of what is happening to you and you are ready to work on it.
if you are scared of something, its always easy to simply deny the fact and keep such issues under the carpet. but what is tough is to accept this fear and come out in the open. once we can do this, fear and pain slowly make way for happiness and joy. somewhere deep down we all are aware of thses things, but we just dont want to do something that is different, mainly becoz of the fear of what others might think about us. we feel tht depiction of these emotions will show our weaker side. but that is not true. speaking out what u feel is one of the biggest strength a person can have. and i feel its high time ppl realise this.
why should we suffer becoz of the narrow mindedness of other ppl??

i recently made the same mistake.
my friend lost her mother on saturday, ever since that day i have been in a complete daze, not understanding what is happening around me, who is saying what, nothing. everything around me was a blurr. it was deep sinking feeling. very hallow and empty. and i dont know why, but i didnt speak to anyone about it. mistake number 1.
i kept quiet didnt utter a word about how i was feeling, wht was goign on in my head.. more so, i wanted to speak that night, but i just couldnt find the right words, nothing.. i just wanted to hug someone tightly and cry my head off.. but i couldnt even say this to anyone.. i dont know wht came over me.. i felt like a zombie.. getting up going to class, and coming back home. i was lost. i tossed around the bed the whole night, physically i was dead tired, every single muscle of my body was painig, but my mind was racing all over the place!!
a series of thoughts and feelings danced around in my mind all night. the next day i went to meet my friend. as i entered her house.. all i could see is my house. the same scenario, hushed voices, fake sympathies, words of crappy advise. and it was then something like a lightening that hit me. i could see my friend needed me the most, her eyes said so much more to me.. they spoke of all the pain. but at the same time somewhere her trained mind wouldnt let her speak it out. i was zapped. she was just like me, doing exactly the same thing that i did that day. that scared the life out of me.
i came back home and sat in total solitude. i didnt want to speak to anyone or listen to anyone. mistake number 2.
all the emotions kept piling to my head... and i still carried on my day to day routine. by night time my entire mind was blocked.. i couldnt eat, think or sleep. i tried to write i couldnt , nothing was helping. i felt like a big block of cement had been placed on my head. i felt miserable. couldnt think of anything to do.
i finally just wrote an email to my friend and sent it to him. goodness knows if he understood it or not, but that email kind of drew out my emotions... and finally i let go of the pain that was holding me back.
today morning i just realised how important it is for me to vent out my emtions becoz if iam unable to do that, i shall in no way be able to help my friend. and i dont want her to suffer and make the smae mistakes that i have made in the past.
i just feel the need to get the message across to her somehow, that i am there for her... and she doesnt have to speak anything if she doenst want to. all i want her to know is that i still love her and no matter what i am going to be by her side always.
the root cause for 2 of my mistakes is the same fear. i always feel that not many of my friends will understand wht i am going through.. and maybe if i show them how i feel they might think im some kind of a nut.. a kind of weirdo who is always sad and never happy.. which i know is not true... it is at such times when u need words of silence... the hug!
many ppl might think that my blogs are only about the dark side of life... topics which are actually taboo, but there are times when some topics need to be taken up so that maybe after reading all this.. someone will not make the smae mistakes made by me.
i am not a sad person, i am just a girl who has seen much more than what ppl of my age usually see and experience. i dont claim that i have the hardest life but.. my experiences have taught me a lot of things about life..
so when things goes wrong and sadness fills your heart just turn around and give a hug or shed a tear.. i knw for sure u will feel better.. and much lighter by the end of it all!!
~sometimes the greatest power is the power of silence~