a box

there comes a time... when everything happening around us seems weird. it just doesnt seem right. all hapenning too fast and definitely not the way we want things to be. its like a big tornado in our minds... too many thoughts, confusion, frustration, irritation etc.

somewhere we all have a positive streak in us, but at such times... all the positivity seems to have taken a hike to some far away distant country. such times are scary. they just freak us out.it feels like we are enclosed in a small box, with absolutely no ventilation, screaming our lungs out, but no one is able to hear us. that's exactly what i am going through...

i want to tell someone something but i am just not able to. i have no option but to keep mum. i know whatever that is happening isnt right, i want to stop it... protect this person whom i love so much. but i just cannot.. every word i say is wrong, every action i undertake backfires.. nothing seems to go right. and it hurts to see your loved one walking towards a valley blindfolded. i keep trying in my way, but there just comes a time in life when u have to see what happens and keep praying that only the best outcome will emerge.

recently i attended a workshop on peace and stress management. i did learn quite a few things from there. it is said that every situation that we experience is becoz one of the biggest law in the world... "the law of attraction".the law of attraction means.. that all tht happens in our life is because we have attracted such situations in our life. either consciously or unconsciously. this is the biggest secret of life. now the first question that arises in our mind is that we never wish or ask for bad things to happen in our lives , but still we experience them. it is merely because... the universe doesnt understand whether u are asking fro good or bad things, it simply puts in front of you whtever comes in your mind.

for eg: we have a small argument with someone, and then you feel like the relation had changed and it has been affected. thts the first thought that comes to your mind. and as u observe,... slowly thts exactly wht happens. thats becoz we asked for it. the universe simply processes whatever inputs are given by our minds. it doesnt think whats good or bad. it simply portrays what we think and ask for. its a vicious cycle. many a times.. we get up in the morning thinking we will have a fantastic day. when you reach the work place you have a tiff with someone.. and then the first thing that comes to your mind is that the whole day is totally ruined, and nothing will go right. and that is exactly what follows. so later during the day, even if something good happens, we fail to see it because the start was bad. this leads to more depressing thoughts and actions, which in turn attracts more depression.

one recent experience i had was on a sunday, the day after my workshop, i was totally charged. i got up in the morning saying and feeling that i am going to have a perfect day. as the day proceeded i did go through some disappointments, but i kept eliminating any negative thoughts that entered my mind. result i spent a beautiful weekend with my dear friend, had loads of fun at class and felt at peace in the nite. the next day however turned out to be miserable. everything was going wrong.. i just couldnt understand what to do, what to think.. i was clueless again.. still i tried hard to keep negative thoughts from coming to my mind. the result was he very next day.... the problem got sorted out by itself. i felt relieved. i was glad and i finally understood the cycle.

however i realised in this entire process that just by thinking positively all day long, we cannot run away from our problems. every situation whether good or bad is brought about by us and we have to face it. but what i fail to understand is how to fight some situations? how to solve some problems? sometimes no amount of thinking gives a solution. there are some situations which cannot be explained to anyone... thoughts keep piling up on top of each other.. and it creates total chaos.............like a fish market. and this is where i come back to the above mentioned situation. no matter how positive i think about it.. i know what the outcome will be.. and it hurts me to see that, im helpless. i keep telling myself that i can do something about it but i still havent found the way. it is at such times i fail to understand how to handle these situations.

my best friend always says that i am strong and i will come out of it just right, but i am scared.. scared to my very core.. i still keep thinking and praying that things will get sorted out eventually.. and i sincerely pray that they do.. to many ppl this blog might be confusing, it is a bit i admit it.. but i jsut had to write.... things that are on top of my mind.. i dunno how many of you are going through similar situations( i pray noone is) i just knw that we all go through this closed phase in our lives... i simply narrated mine.